Universal Lies.

I don't want to play that game. I don't want to say what if. What if it was different? What if I had said no? What if I had stayed home? What if I hadn't said that out loud? What if I made a mistake? What if this wasn't how it was supposed to be? What if I was lying? NO. NO NO NO. what if is an awful thing. What if can make you question your entire existance. I don't want to just exist anymore. I want to live. So what...I am on my feet 17 hours a day...I still want to live my real life after the school/work day ends. I still want to have friends. I want to have a life outside of my adult responsibilities. After all, I am still a teenager for 46 more days and 1 hour. My full adulthood hasn't kicked in yet. I have time. I have time to lose sleep and have fun. I have time to not question whether something is right or wrong, as long as I'm living my life to the fullest and having the time of my life. Soon, it will all be different. With some of my best friends here leaving this weekend to all different places all over the world for the next 5 months, and then in 22 days and 12 hours I'm graduating...things will be unreal. This is a huge new chapter in my life. My life is taking a 90 degree turn, and I love it. Some parts of it are going to be harder than others. It will take some adjusting. It will most definitely take a lot of getting used to. It will be a whole new world out there. Living in the real world, getting out of this little sheltered world I've been living in. My life will be surreal. and amazing. and awesome. and crazy. and thrilling. and exciting. and new. and mine. This life is mine. Sometimes I don't believe this is really happening. Is it a dream? There is too much good luck flowing around for this to be my real life. I have an amazing job. An amazing boyfriend. A amazing house with awesome roommates. I have amazing families that love and care for me. I have so many people backing me up that I can't even count them all. I have the best group of hilarious and amazing friends. and so much more. I have so much going for me right now. Sometimes I get caught up on the little things. I catch myself letting little things get me down. Like waking up late, or having to deal with a completely untolerable person. Those things don't matter!! Tomorrow, all of that will be history. and all that is left are the good things. The big things. The happy things. The exciting things. My life. My world. My existance...