a letter to a mom.

I'm supposed to be writing a letter to you mom. I'm supposed to be telling you how I really feel. But the truth is, I don't know where to start. I don't even know if I should call you my mom. Truth is, you were never really there for me. I had a mother, a lady who was there sometimes when I got home from school and that made me go to bed on time, but I didn't have a mom like all my friends did. I didn't have someone that I could talk to about boys and makeup and my friends. I didn't have someone that I could call when I was having a bad day at school that would talk to me while I hid in the bathroom at lunch. I had you. You were never happy with me. Everything I did made you mad. Either I was being too honest or I was lying, it didn't matter, everything I did upset you. It was hard being the only kid in the 8th grade with an 8:30pm bed time. It was frustrating that I couldn't go to basketball and Football games with my friends in highschool because you didn't want to drive me and I wasn't old enough to get my license. It was especially hard when you got sick and dad was working graveyards trying to keep a roof over our heads. All you could do is lay on the couch and eat bubblegum ice cream. It seems like you didn't move for months. I felt like I was the parent. And looking back now, I was. I was always the parent. I was the one telling you to calm down when someone cut you off in the grocery store parking lot. I was the one begging you not to interfere when someone teased me or casey at school, because I knew it wouldn't end well. I was raising a 40 year old Child at 15. I don't know how it happened. And I hated it. But I am so much better for it now. I am independent. I am strong. I am brave. I am successful. I learned so much from your faults and your mistakes. I don't like fear of failure get in my way. I make good decisions. I don't do drugs. I don't go out partying every night. I Am Me. And you made me this way. I am so much better off than I would have been if I had been raised like everyone else. I am a strong, beautiful, independent, bright, talented, brave woman, and I am not afraid to go after what I want. I am going places in life, no matter how many people tell me I'm not. I am going to make a wonderful life for myself. I am going to have a family someday with a husband who loves and adores me. I am going to have beautiful children whom I will love very much and be a wonderful mother to. I am going to live my life to the fullest. So I guess I just want to say Thank You. Thank you for not believing in me, because that made me work harder. Thank you for not being there for me, It made me independent. Thank you for making me the woman I am today. I forgive you, but that doesn't mean I want you in my life. I don't need you in my life. I don't need the stress or the anxiety you cause. I don't need a mother, I never had one to begin with.
Love your daughter.